Been a while...

It's been almost a year since my last blog entry... I feel as if I should be going to confession. "Forgive, me Father, for I have sinned. It's been almost a year since my last blog post."

I write tonight in order to let my eyes see what my brain tells my hands to type, just in case I'm missing something. You know how sometimes when we mull things over in our heads, we need to write them down as a reference, just to be able to see what it is.

Three months ago, God told me to 'be still', and I've been doing just that. Waiting. Praying. Wondering what the next step will be. My prayer has always been for clarity, wisdom beyond myself, faith and strength. God has always provided, which is amazing in itself, and we are a blessed family.

But I feel it's about time for the next step. And any direction that I step, it's gonna be a big step. I feel I know, which probably scares me even more. My feet aren't that big. My back not that strong. My endurance not deep enough. I'm afraid to step, equating it to crossing enemy lines, and the enemy sees me coming.

"God is bigger," I've said it a million times. And He is. When I would say "God is Bigger," my pulse would slow, my sweat would stop beading, and my breathing would return to normal, just because the burden would be realized as not mine to carry.

But this next step... it's a doozy.

Know that this blog post is for the sole purpose of praying 'out loud', recording, even journaling for the purpose of having a reference point. I vowed to do whatever God wants me to do, and if this next step is where He wants me to step, then here we go... but I'm scared... but here we go.

And I pray for the opportunity to look back at this blog post one day and say, "I remember when I was scared, and yet, not alone. God stepped with me."